The Life of Me

Right of the bat I am going to say, I am NOT a writer. This means I have awful grammer, scattered thoughts, and I really don't care. I know my title "the boring, crazy, life of Me"  sounds pretty depressing, but this is blog is where I am going to vent and oranize my thoughts. I also know reading people rant and ramble gets really annoying, but I am not counting on people to read this so I am not to concerned.  But don't worry it won't all be so dark and somber, I know I am blessed with the life I have and I am going to try to remember those things that I am blessed with above all else.

Anyway, now that I have introduced this blog, I am going to introduce me and my family.

ME
I just turned 17 on May 26 and I am a rising senior in high school. A few things about me... I don't quite like highschool (but that's another story for another day). I have been a vegetarian for 10 years and I completely love animals. I have a dog named Grady, 2 cats, Kitty (yes her name really is Kitty) and Lacey, and a chinchilla, who still remains nameless. Any suggestions?  I am extremely outspoken but I am also really self conscious. I can get pretty jealous sometimes, not in a caddy way, just an insecure kind of way.  I don't exceed at anything that I know of yet...still looking. I am a Christian and I love Crosspointe Church, even if I do think about leaving it sometimes (again, another story for another time). I am the type of person who would have a few close friends rather than a lot of friends that I am not as close with.  I love being out and about, but I am also content with just being alone. People that know me really well would say I am an introvert, others think I am extroverted. I can be OCD and ADD on ocassions. I love sleeping and have really crazy dreams that I love telling everyone about. I have a phobia of stickers, stamps, fake tattoos, and writing on anything other than paper (mainly skin). Every time I go to the bathroom I have to check behind the curtain in case someone is there. I love everything about the 80's and I am pretty sure I was born a little to late. I reminise a lot and spend a lot time wishing I was a little kid were everything was happier and simpler. Those are all the most important things about me and the rest you will probably pick up from my post.

MY FAMILY
I have two older sisters and two younger, much younger, half brothers.

My sister Bethany is 20 and Andrea is 22 and both are in college right now. Growing up me and my sisters weren't close at all. We barely ever touched each other, unless it was to injure the other, and we certainly never hugged or said I love you. I am almost positive my sisters have said "I hate you" more times than they said "I love you". Since there were three of us, and we are all girls, ganging up on each other was a regular occurance in our home. When you were the odd man out it totally sucked but when you were the one ganging up on someone you got a lot closer to the other one ganging up. When I was little I loved playing with my sister Bethany, especially when my friends were over, and secretly I think she liked playing with me too. Besides right now I was closest to Beth when I was in elementary school. Once I was in middle school and Beth was in high school she wanted nothing to do with me. I tended to be the target of all of her built up anger. One of my friends would even identify her as "the mean sister". At that time me and Andrea really got a long and closer than when I was little and she hated the fact that I existed and was "the baby". Although we had, and continue to have, our ups a deep, deep downs my sisters know things about me that my friends may never know and at the end of the day I love them and know God gave them to me for a reason.

My half brothers are Max is 1(almost 2) and EN (as in my Edward Nelson) is 3, obviously not in school yet. My parents seperated in 2005 and officially got divorced in 2008. One month before my dad got married. Three months before they had a baby. You can do the math. I was extremely angry at my dad when all of that happened and I therefore didn't go to his wedding or the hospital when either of my half brothers were born. Although I love them a lot I don't use the word "brother" when I refer to them because I grew up with two sisters and had experiences and struggles with them that I will never have with my half brothers. I saw them on almost a daily basis, we sometimes had to share rooms, toys, clothes, and lots of other things. But with EN and Max I see them maybe once a week, if that, we don't share toys, they take my toys from when I was little and destroy them. To me half brother is a perfect way to describe them because they aren't quite on the level as the sisters I grew up with but they aren't as distant to me as a step sibiling. That isn't to say that half sibilings can't be as close as ones with the same parents, but in my life that's just how it is.

I  love my parents, and even my dad's wife, Lora. I am closer to my mom than my dad and when my parents seperated I moved out with my mom, along with my sisters. My parents tried the whole "shared custody" thing for a while, but that failed quickly. At first my dad lived in an apartment like thing above our garage, but eventually things got to bad and my mom moved out with all of us. Because I knew what happened between my parents I was very resentful towards my dad and when I would go back to the place I called home I hated being there and not feeling at home. I also hated the fact that me, my mom. my two sisters, 2 dogs, a cat, and 2 guinea pigs were the ones that live in the townhouse. Because my sisters were in highschool they weren't home much and they both also fought with my mom a lot. We were the ones always there for each other when it came to our troubles with my dad and sisters. My mom experienced a similar situation when she was younger and never judged me for not forgiving my dad immediately like my sisters did.  But after we moved to the house I live now my mom and I began to fight a lot more. I was angry about a lot of things in my life and it was easiest to blame my mom for them because she was the one always. Me and my mom have personalities that tend to clash and because of what I went through I decided that "because I am the parent" wasn't a good enough excuse for me for parents to do and say whatever they wanted to their kids. I wasn't the type of kid that just kept my mouth shut and said "I'm sorry", "yes ma'am". I believed everyone should have to earn respect by showing it. I never regret not being that type of person, but man, life sure would have been easier if I was.

So like I said this blog isn't going to be all "my life sucks" but sometimes it will be sad or depressing. Other times it will seem hectic and crazy (which can be a good or bad thing). While other times it is going to be completely boring and dull. Thats why this is the boring, sad, crazy life of Me.